i am taking up knitting.

1. What is in your left pocket?
i dont have pockets on these pants! so nothing.

2. How much alcohol did you have this week?
2 beers : ( how sad am i?

3. Do you eat gas station food?
ahah hell no. they sell hamburgers @ beer city though. for all you sick gas station eaters out there...

4. Ever drive all night to get to someone?
nope but i would!

5. Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
it's only one of my favorite movies of all time!

6. Do people that scream into their cell phones annoy you?
like when i'm on the other line or when i'm standing next to them? bc when i'm on the other line, it doesnt, i just dont know why they're screaming, but if i was standing next to them while they were screaming into the phone having a conversation with someone then i think it would annoy me. what a complex answer for such a simple question! whew.

7. What kind of car do you drive?
a 1997 infinity that i've successfully ruined

8. Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
both!

9. Do you sit or stand in the shower?
i do a little standing usually.

10. Could you live with a roommate?
yesss! of course i could.

11.) How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
4

12.) Where were you born?
glen cove

13.) What is your drug of choice?
hmm. the z-pack.

14.) Ever been to rehab/jail?
nope :)

15.) Highest level of school completed?
ummm...a year and a half at nassau so far. i think? maybe alittle more...i lost track, ha, thats not good.

16.) Last time you had a run in with the cops?
freaken two seconds ago. just kidding.

17.) Where was your last kiss?
where was it? on someone's lawn.

18.) What do you want to be when you grow up?
lisa granath.

19.) How cool are you?
i am fucking awesome.

20.) Who is number 1 on your top 8? Why?
jamie because she's really small.

21.) What cell phone service do you have?
sprint, it blows.

23.) How many people are on your friends list?
i dont know mannn, it's fucking late.

24.) When did you join MySpace? Why?
i think like a year ago. because im a follower.

25.) How many miles does your car have on it?
hahah a shitload!

26.) What is your dream car?
a black cabrio <3333333333333333 i love you black cabrio.

27.) What is your favorite pets name?
my favorite pet? i only have one, wtf. and her name is...uhhh...shit. jk jk. sienna.

28.) What is your current mood?
pooped.

29.) Last time you broke the law?
an hour ago

30.) How long have you been in the state that you live ?
my whooooole damn life.


there lisa. there's your fucking update. :P

hiiii you crazy kids who still use/read livejournal. it doesnt really excite me anymore, neither does myspace...and even tho i just got it and i was very very amused by it for a few seconds, facebook is pretty boring too now. so tom or whoever better start cracking on something else, something a little more entertaining, because im getting pretty restless. anyways...nothing exciting is going on. this summer is actually a huge fucking disappointment. i've gotten drunk maybe 3 or 4 times and i think atleast 2 of those times were @ work. speaking of which, panera has become unbearably miserable and i've officially told them that i'm leaving september 1st. i took this week off and its just flying by, of course. i cleaned my car today, it took me about 3 hours and ive realized how truly disgusting i am to let it get that dirty. my mom had to come out and make sure i was still alive. on a lighter note, i found 8 dollars in change! coinstar, here i come! yayay. i also cleaned my room the last couple of days and it looks prettyyyy nice, i must say. i bought some badass carpet cleaner so all those makeup stains are long gone. i also found my ps2 under a huge ass pile of clothes so i played crazy taxi last night for about 2 hours and on friday when im getting my paycheck im buying myself a sweeeet video game chair. im not really sure why. it seems more like a guy thing and for those who are truely obsessed with video games which i guess im not but i could be. i wont be. but i could be...much more importantly it looks comfortable. so i want it. i wish i had some exciting stuff to write about but i dont. im actually really sad again lately, im not sure why, i wish my parents would just listen to me and send me to a therapist, maybe they could figure out whats always bothering me. i cant really talk to my friends about it, i get really upset and i start crying, which is something i seriously never do anymore and i think its better off that way. and even if i wanted to explain it, i really cant. its just...something is always bothering me, i feel like im missing something or..a part of me is empty. i dont know. even when im having fun there's still apart of me that feels really sad. i try not to think about it too much. but even when i dont think about it, i feel it. my mom said that she thinks that by cleaning out my car/room it will cleanse me and ill feel refreshed and organized and dandy. but i dont. atleast not yet. maybe august will be a different story. im going to six flags, im going to long beach island, im going to some stupid madonna tribute concert..and i promised myself, for my own good, i'd drink atleast 3 days a week. we'll seeee. starting school again in september. fuuuuccccky. not looking forward to it. anywayssssssssss...time for bed. very tired. hope everyones doing super. nite amigos.

im inlove. with a white boy. weirrrd.

so last night i had a dream that me and hiliary duff were being chased by a giant haunted stapler.

so its like 8:15 and ive been up for an hour. i cant fall back asleep. i heard my mom talking to my dad and she said she heard something crying outside, she said she thought it was a squirrel that was hurt somewhere.. so i got up to listen and it sounded like it was stuck somewhere in the backyard so i went out there with my dad to help him look for it but the crying started to slow down and then it stopped so we had no idea where it was coming from. and now im really really upset. it just sounded so hurt and so scared and to think about it being all helpless..its terrible : (i think i want to become more of a humanitarian. i know that sounds crazy but i was reading this bulletin that someone had up on myspace and it was about this place called Darfur that my grandma had been telling me about a couple of months ago. this is pretty much what's going on, im not in the summing up kind of mood right now so :

Open warfare erupted in Darfur in early 2003 when the two loosely allied rebel groups, the Sudan Liberation Movement/Army (SLA) and the Justice and Equality Movement (JEM), attacked military installations. This was followed closely by peace agreements brokered by the United States to end the twenty-year-old civil war in the south of Sudan which allocated government positions and oil revenue to the rebels in the south. At that time rebels in Darfur, seeking an end to the region's chronic economic and political marginalization, also took up arms to protect their communities against a twenty-year campaign by government-backed militias recruited among groups of Arab extraction in Darfur and Chad. These "Janjaweed" militias have over the past year received government support to clear civilians from areas considered disloyal to the Sudanese government. Militia attacks and a scorched-earth government offensive has led to massive displacement, indiscriminate killings, looting and mass rape, all in infringement of the 1949 Geneva Convention that prohibits attacks on civilians.


it makes me really depressed. half a million people have died already and i just dont think that enough people are aware of what's going on. if you go to savedarfur.org you can donate money or just find out more about it. i just ordered some wristbands actually. i know this sounds kind of crazy but i dont really care. its actually the first time in a while that something has emotionally gotten to me like this and i dont want to just ignore it. and ive been so fucking unaware of this kind of stuff for so long and now i really want to find out more about all these places that have so much poverty and violence going on. and i want to help in some way. i have like no money but maybe instead of wasting my money on usless crap at the mall and clothes that end up in piles on my floor ill try to donate some of it to all these funds they have. yep. thats what im going to do. and im also gonna go back to sleep sooo...goodnight. [or goodmorning...whatevs!]

i'd say this is an update but i'd be lying. i think its more like a bunch of rambling. i was really really sick with strep a couple of weeks ago, that whole entry about antibiotics..i finally got medicine for it but im real bad at taking it on time so i dont know if thats the reason why or maybe bc i worked every night and i didnt call out at all but im sick again. i have to go to a throat doctor or something, my mom said i might have to get my tonsils out but i willll nottt. there's no way. i rather be on meds my entire life. in a couple of weeks ill be switching to 3 days a week, maybe 4, instead of doing 6 because its going to be the summmerrr and this summer is going to be crazzzzy. i just want to get trashed like, every single night. ive drank i think maybe twice this year and thats so fucking sad. but then once july and august come..i dont know. i think its going to be harder than i think bc im going to be taking summer classes so i dont have to be @ nassau all of next year..maybe just for one semester. i just need to get out of there. and then i need to transfer still but i cant go anywhere far soo...i think im just going to apply to c.w post and molloy..and leave it at that, honestly. id rather go to c.w post, the campus looks really nice, at least when i took the tour online. i dont know man, we'll see. anyways...swingers is a fucking hilarious movie, i bought it the other night at tower records and id never seen it before and its so funny, i fucking loveee it. i just spent like 200 dollars downloading songs onto my ipod from itunes..on my dads credit card so hes going to kick my ass. ohh, speaking of which, i got a credit card to victorias secret, which is like the worst idea ever bc im going to go through it in like a day but whatevs : ) what else what else..i think im going back to that summer house with all of them. i wasnt going to at first for a number of reasons but i think i need to..i just need to get the fuck out of this town for a couple of days. i cant go the entire time bc its doody bitches bday <3 and i cant miss that..but im probably going to go for two, i think im driving up late with luis. it should be a crazy good time. anyways i need to go back to sleep... bye = )

WH O . W A S . T H E . L A S T . P E R S O N ..

1. You hung out with?: diana & jim
2. You rode in a car with?: vin
3. You watched a movie with?: jamie
4. You went to the mall with?: jamie
5. You went to dinner with?: my cousin and jamie
6. You talked on the phone to?: melissa

W O U L D . Y O U . R A T H E R?
1. Pierce your nose or tongue?:tongue
2. Be serious or be funny?: funnnny
4. Die in a fire or drown: umm..neither, im good on that.


D O . Y O U . P R E F E R.
1. Flowers or candy?: flowers
2. Grey or black?: black
3. Color or Black and white photos?: black and white
4. Hate or love?: love
5. Sunrise or sunset?: sunset
6. M&M's or Skittles?: M&Ms
7. Staying up late or waking up early?: staying up late!

D O . Y O U . P R E F E R.
1. Sun or moon?: moon
2. Winter or Summer?: summer
3. Left or right?: righty
4. Sunny or rainy?: sunnny
5. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?: vanilla

A B O U T . Y O U!
1. what time is it?: 12:45 am

2. First name?: nicole
3. What do you want?: a nice solid tan!
4. Where do you want to live?: LA
5. How many kids do you want?: eh 2 or 3 little creeps
6. You want to get married?: im not sure

U N I Q U E
1. Nervous habit?: picking my nails
2. Are you double jointed?: nope : (
5. Can you cross your eyes?: [seriously angela?] yep i can
6. Do you make your bed daily?: i dont think ive ever made my bed and i admit that with pride.

R A N D O M
1. Which shoe goes on first?: right
2. Have you ever straight out lied to the government?: only when im drunk
[wow you guys really went crazy with the random questions]

O T H E R
1. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?: cut that shit up
2. Have you ever eaten Spam?: EWWWWWWWWWWWWW! thats a no.
3. Favorite ice cream?: peanut butter swirl - turkey hill
4. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet?: alot of nasty ones AND FRUITY PEBBLES!
5. Current mood?: out of it

I N . T H E . L A S T . M O N T H . H A V E . Y O U.
1. gone out on a date?: nope
2. Bought something: aha yes
3. Sang?: hell yea
4. Been hugged: yesss : )
5. Felt stupid: hehe yea
6. Missed someone: yup
7. Got drunk: yep <3 40s <3
8. Danced: yep
9. Gotten your hair cut: nope
10. Cried: yess : (

i dont even feel like writing right now but im bored. so today was horrible. this entire entry is going to be me bitching so if you dont enjoy hearing me bitching, maybe you shouldnt read this. im really sick right now. i have like the worst case of strep i've ever had in my entire life. not to mention that im losing my voice and ive had a fever for like 4 days. so today i go to the doctor but i dont have health insurance right now bc im not going to school till the summer and even tho i wont be going full time so i cant get insurance until winter from ncc and i never got it from panera bc i didnt need it when they asked us bc i had it from school. so the point is that i dont have it. and ive been trying to get it from panera but they're a bunch of fucking douchebags and tang keeps telling me that theres only certain times you can get it..its like every 8 months or some bullshit like that. which is the most ridiculous thing ive ever heard. he sent them an email and asked if there was any way i could get it earlier [the next open house is july] bc i told him i was going to quit but i couldnt wait till july bc there was things i had to pay off and i have to go to the dentist and the doctor and shit and i dont have that kind of money to pay for all of that and neither do my parents and seriously..who doesnt want to have health insurance? just in general. sooo..anyways..the point is that they said i cannot, under any circumstances, get it till july, so my mom told me just to stay at panera bc even if i go somewhere else, you cant get health insurance until you're there for 3 months [WHAT. THE. FUCK. what is wrong with this fucking world, seriously?] SO i go to the doctor today bc i cant put it off anymore and it costs me 200 dollars just to get checked and then the doc [ i have to go to my parents doctor now : ( supposedly im too old for the pediatrician. im not allowed to go anymore they told me because now im 19 and im an adult =( such crap..anyways..] gives me this prescription for an antibiotic sooo i drop it off at the wall [walgreens baby <3] and i go back at 5 to pick it up and its not ready of course so i wait 20 minutes and my cell phone has been dead bc my charger is broken so i cant call panera to tell them they im going to be mad late so im freaking out. so finally they tell me its ready but they want to know whats going on and if i have new insurance and i tell them now and they look shocked and they ask if im going to pay cash for it and im like hell yea, bc my mom told me it shouldnt be more than like..80 or 100. so the womans like "okay well its...$276.39" i swear to god, i thought i heard her wrong and i was like WHAT? and she was like yea..and i was like okie dokie..uh..ill be back. and i left bc i definitely didnt have that kind of money for it. so im about 45 minutes late to panera and im freaking out and im crying bc i feel so horrible, physically and emotionally, bc i cant believe that my parents have to shell out 500 dollars bc im sick. i dont even know what to think. im so mad. its my fault too. i shouldnt have taken time off from school. but i thought id be able to get the insurance from panera. but no. bc panera sucks such a humongous dick its not even funny. my dad said theres no way we're paying 300 bucks for medicine so hes going to get me samples of it from his doctor or some shit : ( wtf. i dont care though. i just want to feel better. i dont know. i just cant believe medicine costs that much. i never even thought it would be close to that. whatevs, i need to go to sleep. hope everyones doing alot better than me <3 nite.

i have alot on my mind. i've done some stuff im not proud of lately and its really made me think about life and how, seriously, there comes a time where you need to grow up and make decisions that..maybe you dont necessarily want, but that just have to be made because its the right thing to do. im high, by the way. and i've also decided not to celebrate my 20th birthday. this is something i have been debating in my head for months and i seriously decided that i am not going to. then i wont be in the my teens anymore. and that makes me so sad : ( i dont want to get older. because that means that my parents are getting older. and my sister. and other people. and i hate that shit. someone find the goddamn fountain of youth, shit.

so on a more serious note, i was talking to one of my friends about 9/11 the other night and he told me he went to a meeting about the 9/11 "conspiracies" which i had seriously never heard of before he said it. and i was like, what the fuck is that? and he sent me this link. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/9/11_Conspiracy. he said he agreed with the fact that it is possible that the u.s government planned this and did this to itself, to its own country. in the beginning i seriously couldnt even believe people would think this. i was so shocked bc i never even heard that people might be thinking it. and i called him crazy and blah blah and he said to just read it. and i did. and my entire outlook on 9/11 completely has changed. i dont even know what to say. the fact that the u.s would do this to itself is completely insane..but still possible. i havent watched the tape of it since it happened but i downloaded some videos and seriously..the way they fell, it does look like something isnt right, like its exploding from bombs, not from the planes. the entire situation and all the evidence pointing to the u.s government and how the story doesnt really add up completely boggles my mind. i have to talk to my grandma about this. but if this is true..i dont even know. i feel like im in a nightmare. im so upset about the entire thing. okay so i cant even talk about this right now..im passing out on my keyboard. and i have a long day tomorrow full of shopping and tanning and some other shit. whatevs, hope everyones doing good and i hope everyone has a happy easter!!!






sex is fun.